Monday, September 20, 2010

It's Starting to Sink in: Day 1

Yesterday, we arrived in Houston via Southwest. It was a painful journey and my knee was on fire with pain, but due to some sympathetic flight attendants the pain was softened and became somewhat bearable. Touchdown is when it finally hit me. The realization that I had cancer. It was a cold slap of reality that shook me to my very core. Why had God done this to me? Me of all people. After all, I had just gone on a mission to Haiti and brought people to the Lord for crying out loud. And this is how God had decided to repay me. I thought to myself what type of God treated his followers in such a cruel and unmerciful way. After all isn't God supposed to be benevolent and loving?
A split second after all this destructive thought stopped flowing a second stream of thought broke loose. God wasn't punishing me; he was testing me. He was making me stronger. He was showing me more love and support than I could handle. Family, friends, and people I had never even met before were coming out of nowhere to share their love. I felt smothered and it felt good. Their love and support created a cocoon that protected me from downfall. With this amazing amount of support there is no way I can fail. God is showing me everyday thing I've never noticed and my outlook on life is slowing changing. God is good!

9 comments:

  1. Kyler I have been thinking those same things. why?why?why?why? I have faith that he chose you because you are such a strong man of God that you will fight this and get through it. Through the journey you will grow stronger and closer to the Lord. I know it may be a long journey but know that I will be here for you every step of the way, any time and any day I am here. love you Colbsss xo

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  2. Kyler thanks for letting us into your mind on this journey... there are many emotions and I see you are choosing a winning attitude!

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  3. Kyler, thanks for starting this post!!! We have been praying for you and your family. Know that God is in control and working in your life!!!!
    Blessings....
    Mrs. Raffail

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  4. You are soo strong buddy, GOD will never leave your side. And yes we are all praying for you to beat this cancer into submission!

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  5. I love your transparent and honest heart before the Lord. It reminds me of the Amy Grant song..."Better than A Hallelujah". It says...we pour out our misieries...God just hears a melody...Beautiful the mess we are...the honest cries of breaking hearts...Are better than a hallelujah.The Lord loves your honesty and your beautiful heart towards Him. Look not at the mountain Sweet Boy but towards our Maker. He has you in the palm of His hand.

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  6. This diagnosis Kyler is just another opportunity for you to continue to show all those who surround you, believers and nonbelievers, what faith looks like in action. My family and I will continue to be following your progress and healing, and we will be praying continually. Much love, the Jackson Family.

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  7. Romans 8:31- "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" <3

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  8. Hi Kyler,

    Robin, Saben, Melissa, Brendan, Natalie and I are praying for your speedy recovery. Know that we love you and we will never leave you or your families side. Just say the word and we will be there.

    Watching you grow and reading what you are writing is truly shaking me to the core. I believe in you Kyler. I believe in your faith and I believe that through your strength and through your words you are changing all of us for the better. None of us know Gods plan but I know that I believe a little bit more of him, because of you.

    I love you Kyler.

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  9. Hey KyKy, I still tend to linger on this site and read everything you have to say. It really is amazing how faithful you are. Love you forever and always <3
    Love, Karina

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