I'm incarcerated in a prison with no visible form of confinement. Pain is the guard,the gatekeeper, and the warden. Escape is impossible, and thinking about such a thing is the act of a madman. My prison has no walls, because it needs no walls. Trying to move beyond its borders can leave one broken and bawling uncontrollably for all to see. And they all do see. I am surrounded by a sea of people who are all aware of my suffering. The tears streaming down my cheeks are spelling out an SOS, but no one comes to provide aide. I am plain view, but I'm invisible. I am truly alone. Strangers stop and stare. I hate their eyes on me. I feel like a caged animal who is poked, prodded, and observed by all. And all I want to do is escape. Escape! Escape! Escape! The thought fills my mind and I am slowly becoming the madman I mentioned earlier. My craving for release from this confinement is eating me up like battery acid. Have you figures out the riddle yet? Do you what my prison is? My prison, my cage is.... a wheelchair.
Yes, I'm surrounded by people so I'm not truly alone. But, only a few of these people actually take action to help me. These are the people that I love, cherish, and appreciate for all their help and support. The majority of the people I've interacted with though, are uncaring and stare with the cold, dead eyes like those of the fish in a fish market. There are few bright lights out in the world that give me hope though. They make me weep, because of their unexpected kindness. While others are oblivious and wrapped up in their own worlds these amazing people see a need and provide help. My dad and I witnessed this today when we were struggling with some doors at the movie theaters after seeing The Town (Highly recommend). At the inner doors of the building, people stared, as my father wrestled with the challenge of holding the door upon and trying to pull me in a wheelchair through the door. Meanwhile, I'm clutching me knee in pain and trying to not thinking about the current, bumpy ride I was on. No one came up to lend a hand. NO ONE CARED! This thought hit me like a smack in the face and got my blood boiling. But, then something amazing happened. Upon reaching the front door, a woman (who had been sitting and resting on the handlebars of her walker and was clearly very tired) saw or predicament, got up, limped over, and helped us. I was shocked and amazed. I never thought help would come from such a place. I mean she could barely even walk. God had shown me yet another lesson.
By the end of this I'm sure my outlook on life will different, but not only because of the cancer or the pain. The experiences I have had and will have and the people I have met and will meet I will be a changed human being.